This is a question that I used to ask myself all the time. I would have to guess that it happened once a day. I was well aware of the fact that I drank everyday, some more than others, but the point was that I drank everyday, therefore I always wondered if I was an alcoholic. But then I would realize that I was never late for work, did a good job at work, and all around "handled my bossiness", so I would simply dismiss the question and go on about my life.
But still, the question was always there. I basically went by the definition of an alcoholic that Dylan Thomas offered us, " An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." Then one day I woke up and had had enough. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I stopped drinking. Did I attend meetings or make a big deal out of it? No, I just stopped, and some very interesting things began to happen. I began to come to realizations that I had never considered.
I always thought of drinking as something anyone who was halfway cool, just did. Questions like do you want to go have a beer? Or there's going to be beer there, right? , had become so common to me that they were completely normal and in order. People, who didn't drink, somehow scared me. How could someone not drink? The entire idea of not drinking perplexed me.
Then after a couple of weeks of not drinking, it felt as if my head was suddenly clear. As if I was waking up from a nap in many ways and what I've realized since is that I was waking up from a nap. Through the act of stopping, I realized that I had spent the better part of 15 years drinking. 15 years! And the funniest and most perplexing thing about this realization was the fact that after 15 years of time I hadn't progressed much. Monetarily I was in the same place that I was 15 years prior, if not worse off and emotionally I was much the same as well. This initial realization scared me a little bit, for God's sake, I had completely wasted 15 years all for the sake of having a few beers.
Then I realized the truth. My drinking was something that I had to go through to learn these lessons. There was no other way for me to learn them. But it still kind of upsets me that it took me 15 years! It seems like I could have learned them in 5 or 6. But that's not the way this wonderful life works. It's a marathon, not a sprint and for me, I had to spend 15 years of my marathon learning these lessons.
So was I an alcoholic? Are you an alcoholic? Who knows, at the end of the day I don't like to make distinctions like that anyway. The bottom line is that if your asking yourself the question a lot (as I was), you mat want to consider a change? I'm sure glad I did. I can attest to the fact that life is a ton more enjoyable and fulfilling when your not sleepwalking.
But still, the question was always there. I basically went by the definition of an alcoholic that Dylan Thomas offered us, " An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." Then one day I woke up and had had enough. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, so I stopped drinking. Did I attend meetings or make a big deal out of it? No, I just stopped, and some very interesting things began to happen. I began to come to realizations that I had never considered.
I always thought of drinking as something anyone who was halfway cool, just did. Questions like do you want to go have a beer? Or there's going to be beer there, right? , had become so common to me that they were completely normal and in order. People, who didn't drink, somehow scared me. How could someone not drink? The entire idea of not drinking perplexed me.
Then after a couple of weeks of not drinking, it felt as if my head was suddenly clear. As if I was waking up from a nap in many ways and what I've realized since is that I was waking up from a nap. Through the act of stopping, I realized that I had spent the better part of 15 years drinking. 15 years! And the funniest and most perplexing thing about this realization was the fact that after 15 years of time I hadn't progressed much. Monetarily I was in the same place that I was 15 years prior, if not worse off and emotionally I was much the same as well. This initial realization scared me a little bit, for God's sake, I had completely wasted 15 years all for the sake of having a few beers.
Then I realized the truth. My drinking was something that I had to go through to learn these lessons. There was no other way for me to learn them. But it still kind of upsets me that it took me 15 years! It seems like I could have learned them in 5 or 6. But that's not the way this wonderful life works. It's a marathon, not a sprint and for me, I had to spend 15 years of my marathon learning these lessons.
So was I an alcoholic? Are you an alcoholic? Who knows, at the end of the day I don't like to make distinctions like that anyway. The bottom line is that if your asking yourself the question a lot (as I was), you mat want to consider a change? I'm sure glad I did. I can attest to the fact that life is a ton more enjoyable and fulfilling when your not sleepwalking.
Trevor Kugler is Co-founder of http://www.JRWfishing.com
Trevor has more than 20 years of fishing experience, and raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country....Montana.
Get Informative Fishing Information For FREE, Become A Better Angler -
http://www.jrwfishing.com/signup.asp
Trevor has more than 20 years of fishing experience, and raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country....Montana.
Get Informative Fishing Information For FREE, Become A Better Angler -
http://www.jrwfishing.com/signup.asp
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