I find it perplexing how a person's thinking can become... well clouded. I quit drinking quite a while ago and it seems to me that things become clearer almost by the day. I was having a discussion with a friend about my drinking, back when I drank. People used to say, "come on over and have a beer" all of the time. And, of course, I would oblige them. The funny thing was it was never, and I mean never A beer. It always ended up being at least three beers and most times many more than that.
Was I an alcoholic? I don't know, but I do know I drank a lot. In my estimation, it became too much, so I stopped. It took me the better part of fifteen years to come to this conclusion, but I finally came to the realization that I was drinking too much. The bottom line was that I drank quite a lot of beer. I more or less stayed away from the hard stuff, mostly because I liked the way beer 'tasted', or at least that's what I told myself.
Then recently I found myself with an old friend, reminiscing about the days when I used to drink with him, and something came to me. I said to him how I find it funny that for the most part I drank a 12-pack on most nights. Some nights more and some less, but the average had to be about twelve. Then I said to him, "Bob, I bought a twelve pack of Coke the other day and I can't even imagine sitting down and drinking it all in one sitting! It amazes me that I used to do that exact thing with beer." After that conversation I realized that at the time in my life when I did slam a 12-pack in one sitting, I wasn't thinking clearly at all. Not even close.
Just like it being perplexing about how clouded your thinking can become, it's equally perplexing how clear your thinking can become when you sober up. I'm not at all a religious person, but have to assume there was a higher power involved in this process. All of these thoughts and realizations just fit together too perfectly for any other explanation that I'm aware of. All I know is that there was a time when going out and "having a beer" actually meant going out and having at least three.
Was I an alcoholic? I don't know, but I do know I drank a lot. In my estimation, it became too much, so I stopped. It took me the better part of fifteen years to come to this conclusion, but I finally came to the realization that I was drinking too much. The bottom line was that I drank quite a lot of beer. I more or less stayed away from the hard stuff, mostly because I liked the way beer 'tasted', or at least that's what I told myself.
Then recently I found myself with an old friend, reminiscing about the days when I used to drink with him, and something came to me. I said to him how I find it funny that for the most part I drank a 12-pack on most nights. Some nights more and some less, but the average had to be about twelve. Then I said to him, "Bob, I bought a twelve pack of Coke the other day and I can't even imagine sitting down and drinking it all in one sitting! It amazes me that I used to do that exact thing with beer." After that conversation I realized that at the time in my life when I did slam a 12-pack in one sitting, I wasn't thinking clearly at all. Not even close.
Just like it being perplexing about how clouded your thinking can become, it's equally perplexing how clear your thinking can become when you sober up. I'm not at all a religious person, but have to assume there was a higher power involved in this process. All of these thoughts and realizations just fit together too perfectly for any other explanation that I'm aware of. All I know is that there was a time when going out and "having a beer" actually meant going out and having at least three.
Trevor Kugler is co-founder of JRWfishing.com and an avid angler. He has more than 20 years experience fishing for all types of fish, and 15 years of business and internet experience. He currently raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country.....Montana!
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